Why I choose to Fly

my plan was to hitch hike across America
from New York to California
I would catch rides
and find my way there.

I walked to New Jersey
and saw snow on the ground...
"Funny," I thought, "I didn't think it was winter yet."

So the only drivers on the road were foreign men
So I didn't want to get in the car with them

I saw a nice vehicle with a young indian woman
She was snobby but told me I could stay at her home for a night,
have a nice warm shower and meal,
and get back on my way the next morning

We arrived to her beautiful home in the woods
She told me not to touch anything
because it was all too lovely and expensive
and I was just a poor hitchhiker.

In her foyer was a coat rack
There were 100 coats lined up in a row. . and they were all the same!
Dull, drab, military style dark green cargo coats.

She hung her own up in line with the others.
She instructed me to hang up my coat with all the other coats.
As I did so, I realized how much more beautiful and fancy MY coat was. . . amidst these "lovely and expensive" things, my coat shone with exuberance, all satin and colorful with a lovely mink color. . .
"Wow", I thought, "I didn't think my coat was this lovely."

I told her it was a lovely house.
She got upset and exasperated and said "I don't care! It's my house, and this is the way I live. I can't help how wonderful it is. Besides, this is the way my boyfriend's family wants it. We are going to be married, and it's all his money, but it doesn't matter because it is my life!"

I put my eyebrows up and looked to the side.
"Geez," I thought, "What is this lady's issue?"

The next morning I woke up, and she was gone.
Her little sister was around, though, playing in the kitchen.

There were construction workers working on their indoor pool.
I wanted to swim outside because it was sunny and warm again-- the snow was gone.

But, it started raining... inside the kitchen!
The construction workers realized that there was a big open hole in the ceiling that stretched out the length of the roof, and the width of about one foot.

The little sister laughed and played in the raijavascript:void(0)
Publish Postn.
I did the same, but slipped out stealthily to gather my belongings and leave.
The construction workers began to work on fixing the roof.

When I walked out the front door into the woods again, there was snow on the ground. And it was beautiful and sunny; it had stopped raining.

And I decided not to hitchhike...
"Just take a plane," I pondered, "It will be much faster."

i'll never

i thought i could bring myself
to the edge of my dream-- where the sidewalk ends
and i finally am free to walk into the air, on my own path
away from you
away from it
away from all the constructs of society

but the most architectually sound construct
is the one that makes no sound
the one that makes itself known by abounding
around my conciousness

and eveloping me in it's sticky sweet tar
telling me again and again, "stay, stay, stay,
i am the way". . .

but your sidewalk is cracked
and i refused to stay walking down a crooked road
with you

saw off these handcuffs
that have attached me to my bicycle
it might have been fun to ride
for a short time
but it's bringing me too far away from where my soul wants to be

so set me free
and open my mind to some new dreams
unlock it from the box you've pent it up inside of
the box of your own restrictions, glue. . .
the glue that is you. . .

water pours down over me
like a tidal wave
i am saved

like no other moment, i am born again now
alone in a brand new world
i can rebirth any time i need to
any time i need to get away from you
... grab the scuba gear
and dive into a new ocean
or grab the towel
and dry off my sopping soul
or else be pruned by you

oh that i'll never do

about Life

Life IS beautiful...
we DO smile...
...and I CAN see it that way!

(whew!)

and one thing

i've learned i can only be myself
what a cliche
these images grow deeper into subconscious of my brain
and there they remain
contributing their parts to make up my life's refrain
counting, counting, the colors speak
slowly as i drift off to sleep
and i know that i won't go
but i must leave this treadmill
and tread where my will wills
because i can only dream to be like all those versions of me i dream to be
if i start now, will anyone see the difference?
slowly, naturally
i morph into myself
and one thing i've learned
is i can only be
myself

i found me!

is it all the same here
here there and everywhere
i don't know my name here
a language not my own

is it what i paid for
paid, used, and understood
everything i made before
flowing down a drain

and it spins
and it turns
around a hole as deep as an endless abyss
it burns
to know i'll never be missed

never be missed

looking up from the bottom
the whole world is ahead of me
i'm certain i've got 'em
now that i'm finally who i want to be
through the shattered glass
i can see my past

and i love it. . .yes i love it

take me now my word will guide you through the dark
this is how it all really began. . . you'll see
i can be this girl up against.. flowing with... a brave new world
i can be all i wanted to be
because i found Me.

Secondly August, September knows.

Secondly the weather feels like spring again
I've never been so excited about the pending fall
Who is keeping it from beginning, but the sun?
The sun refuses to quiet it's fiery shouts

But the wind will have it his way
Cooling off the cracked cement
Whispering into the shadowed alleys
Sending a chill down anyone's spine

And the September sky is brighter than any August ever was
Does this cause jealousy for the summer?
Perhaps she can let go easily
Yes, some seasons have it easier than others

Without any need for the hazey heat,
Summer surrenders and admits defeat

The city cools down by one degree
Birds singing again, from the stifling smog they are free

August ravaged the earth and brought psychic tornadoes
August stirred up the pot
Opened the can of worms
Let the cats out of the bags


August decided to take it upon herself
and create the biggest Change of all

And now September wakes up cooler and more collected
Calmer and more patient and wise

September speaks soothingly
sings sweetly, songs of serenity
blows a soft wind, cooling down the wound

when it starts to hurt
close your eyes
and blow out the air that suffocates you

September knows.