Good Night.

the night is getting darker
the air is growing cold
the clouds are slowly thickening
a killer's getting bold

the candle's fading slowly
the doors are locked up tight
the mothers put their kids to bed
men kiss their wives goodnight

a girl in Brooklyn's writing
a boy is making beats
a dog is howling at the moon
a cat's roaming the streets

a businessman is staying late
an intern is as well
a homeless man is murmering
the subways really smell

a student's closing up a book
a tourist pays a tab
a couple's kissing on the curb
a babysitter hails a cab

a bartender is cleaning up
a drunkard's stumbling out
a hipster lights a cigarette
a girlfriend starts to shout

a fiend is getting jittery
a late night dancer cries
a model does a line of coke
a woman hides her eyes

an artist tears the canvas down
a boyfriend makes a call
a restless child stares outside
a stranger's in the hall

flowers nowhere to be seen
trees are bare with no more green
ice is forming in a grate
teens are coming home too late
parents rest their worried heads
close their eyes and go to bed
girls finish their night routine
little boys begin to dream

where is everybody from?
what are all their names?
who did they all plan to be?
Deep down do we feel the same?

I stare out my window
It's foggy out tonight
The city's hidden in the cloud
I can't see all the lights

inspiration came tonight
when i was looking through
the window at the strangers
and the pictures of me and you

inspiration faded
it always ebbs and flows
and people go on living life
it's how the story goes

a candle is blown out
a dishwasher makes sound
a deep breath and a silent prayer
sleep is gradually found

gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood night.

You Must Live It to Learn It. (A tribute to Lana)

Once upon a time there was a little girl by the name of Lana. She was a happy little girl with many friends. As she got older though, she began to become aware of choices. She made choices all the time, and began to experience the consequences of some of her choices. She always tried to do the right thing but looking back she learned that some of the choices she made were actually selfish, and ended up hurting innocent people around her. She lost some friends and didn't quite understand why. Little Lana had many questions in her mind about the way life should be. To make it easier, she thought, she probably would be best off going to Maine, because apparently Maine is The Way Life Should Be. But, moving to a far off state honestly would not make Lana's life any easier. No matter where she went, there were always going to be choices to be made and things to think about.

Fashionably Out There

She walks into a room
All eyes on her
Too big of a smile to hide
Constantly she stares
Blankly she knows
Nothing but everything all at the same time

She asks for a drink
Water, which makes her think
Harder, as she begins to blink
Averts her eyes
Away from the crowd

Drowned in her creativity
Swimming in imagination
Floating on air
Nothing and everything at the same time
She is fashionably out there

Who cares if this dress doesn't go with those heels
Who cares if her hair is out of place, she's got killer mascara
and eyebrows to envy
But really
as one goes up
the stare becomes unfocused
Drops her cup
Clumsy

So fashionably out there
Engage you, she will
Hold your attention, still
Gaze so strong
Doesn't last very long

She starts to babble on and on
About something she knows nothing about but is an expert on

But she's so cool
She'll share her dreams like her drinks
She'll pass on knowledge as if it's a pen someone needs to borrow
So easy and breezy

But her words mean nothing and everything at the same time

She won't make up her mind
But is stubborn as an ox

Soooo out there
As she gathers her belongings. She owns nothing and has it all

The world is hers
You wouldn't understand
She makes a stand
People pay attention
People listen
But she is living outside the bubble
She speaks outside the box
Quite the foxy lady
Quite the funky gypsy
Quite the "It" girl
Quite the scattered hippie
Quite the demanding one
Quite the free spirit
Quite the smart one
Quite the tough cookie
Quite the poet
Quite the experimentor
Quite the habitual insomniac
Quite the predictable kid
Unpredictable kid
People love her
She loves people

She is everything and nothing at all
A walking contradiction
Fashionably out there

somehow

coming slow
be careful-- you don't know
the whole world can pass you by
pass you by in an instant

i let go
and stood there-- now i know
that waiting is so useless
it's so useless when you can't tell what you want

it's no mystery to you or me
that life can plan itself around
your hopes and dreams
sometimes it seems it all comes crashing

down in
(your heart can't save you now because it's)
broken
(and you can't keep the pain away for)
so much longer now
the water overflows
and you lose again somehow
somehow

***
somehow sunset brings it all together just like sunrise...
***
i watched the sunset reflecting on the windows of the eighteenth floor
how i wish that this could last forever
if i could pause the time i'd do it everyday for just a moment
in that moment of perfection
that only comes around when you least expect it
that only shows itself when no one knows it can be seen

Live. . . "Alone"

it's easier not to be wise
and measure these things by your brains
I sank into Eden with you
alone in the church by and by
I'll read to you here, save your eyes
you'll need them, your boat is at sea
your anchor is up, you've been swept away
and the greatest of teachers won't hesitate
to leave you there, by yourself, chained to fate

I alone love you
I alone tempt you
I alone love you
fear is not the end of this!

it's easier not to be great
and measure these things by your eyes
we long to be here by his resolve
alone in the church by and by
to cradle the baby in space
and leave you there by yourself chained to fate

oh, now, we took it back too far,
only love can save us now,
all these riddles that you burn
all come runnin' back to you,
all these rhythms that you hide
only love can save us now,
all these riddles that you burn yeah, yeah, yeah

purple sky

maybe you'll fall back in love with me
maybe you'll see that i'm beautiful
maybe you'll miss me
maybe you'll try to find me
maybe you'll fight to get me back
maybe you'll overcome the challenge
maybe you'll never give up
maybe you'll always be true
maybe you'll be . . .

the clouds are pink and the sky is purple

Don't go .. .

What are you in love with?
A memory? A photo?
Who do you trust?
Your instincts? Your fears?
Your predictions of the future
Won't get you very far
In any other direction
Closer to who you are

Do you feel an attraction?
Do you know your soul's desire?
What is it that keeps you going?
What is it that lights you fire?

Are you losing ground?
Are you grounding your heart?
Are you holding yourself back?
Are you stalled at the start?

How can you make memories?
How can you move on?
From emotion to emotion
If your devotion is so strong?

What are you clinging to?
What is it that's keeping you?
What are you running from?
Why are you stuck on "The One"?

Can you loosen your grip?
Can you let yourself go?
Can you move on from it?
How will you ever know?

I want to be there for you
I wish I was the girl
Who could make the darkness light
And brighten up your world

But the past is a damper
and the miles keep us apart

we are like two magnetic poles
of the same force
Two positives
Two negatives
and we're so psychically close
That we can never really reach each other

I'm trying, I'm trying
To stay close to you
To see what is true
To understand this pain
To keep my heart sane

If I let go, where will you go?
If you let go, where will you go?
If I let go, where will I go?
If you let go, where will I go?

Get to the point

Things are better said in person
Life is better lived in person
Eye to eye, we see
Heart to heart, we feel

I know what I want
I know how I feel
It's not so distinct
But incredibly real

A "Yes" and a "No"
Will lead to the point

Some more back and forth
Some more back and forth

Forever and ever
Merry go round
I understand my place
I will not be walked upon
I will not fall from grace

How does it feel

How does it feel?
What do you think?
...

Control
When it starts to slip away
We seem to try hardest then
To capture fate in the palm of our hand

It's not easy to realize
That what you had is gone
The mistakes you made will linger
God only knows how long

I used to lift you up
And I taste your mind
Sweet with change
As you leave me behind

Missed the Boat

They say don't burn the day
Don't let the day burn by
Don't let your burns ruin your day
Don't burn your own day
The day is not your own
The day simply is
And actually, time is not your own either
Time simply is
Who are you?
What are you burning?
The candle at both ends?
Making ends meet?
Meeting your true self?
Figuring out truth?
Losing your self?
Finding religion?
Religious truth?
Who are you?
But a human with a soul
What is your soul?
It is the most human part about you
Your thoughts
Your desires wishes fears hopes dreams heart of hearts
Who is inside your heart?
Don't miss the boat
Jump on the truth train and ride it till morning
And then till the evening
Whatever you do, don't miss the boat
The boat is waiting for you
But it's a rough sea
And you won't conquer it
Unless you are exactly who you're meant to be
Think free.
Think freedom.
Think now.
Love.

Why I choose to Fly

my plan was to hitch hike across America
from New York to California
I would catch rides
and find my way there.

I walked to New Jersey
and saw snow on the ground...
"Funny," I thought, "I didn't think it was winter yet."

So the only drivers on the road were foreign men
So I didn't want to get in the car with them

I saw a nice vehicle with a young indian woman
She was snobby but told me I could stay at her home for a night,
have a nice warm shower and meal,
and get back on my way the next morning

We arrived to her beautiful home in the woods
She told me not to touch anything
because it was all too lovely and expensive
and I was just a poor hitchhiker.

In her foyer was a coat rack
There were 100 coats lined up in a row. . and they were all the same!
Dull, drab, military style dark green cargo coats.

She hung her own up in line with the others.
She instructed me to hang up my coat with all the other coats.
As I did so, I realized how much more beautiful and fancy MY coat was. . . amidst these "lovely and expensive" things, my coat shone with exuberance, all satin and colorful with a lovely mink color. . .
"Wow", I thought, "I didn't think my coat was this lovely."

I told her it was a lovely house.
She got upset and exasperated and said "I don't care! It's my house, and this is the way I live. I can't help how wonderful it is. Besides, this is the way my boyfriend's family wants it. We are going to be married, and it's all his money, but it doesn't matter because it is my life!"

I put my eyebrows up and looked to the side.
"Geez," I thought, "What is this lady's issue?"

The next morning I woke up, and she was gone.
Her little sister was around, though, playing in the kitchen.

There were construction workers working on their indoor pool.
I wanted to swim outside because it was sunny and warm again-- the snow was gone.

But, it started raining... inside the kitchen!
The construction workers realized that there was a big open hole in the ceiling that stretched out the length of the roof, and the width of about one foot.

The little sister laughed and played in the raijavascript:void(0)
Publish Postn.
I did the same, but slipped out stealthily to gather my belongings and leave.
The construction workers began to work on fixing the roof.

When I walked out the front door into the woods again, there was snow on the ground. And it was beautiful and sunny; it had stopped raining.

And I decided not to hitchhike...
"Just take a plane," I pondered, "It will be much faster."

i'll never

i thought i could bring myself
to the edge of my dream-- where the sidewalk ends
and i finally am free to walk into the air, on my own path
away from you
away from it
away from all the constructs of society

but the most architectually sound construct
is the one that makes no sound
the one that makes itself known by abounding
around my conciousness

and eveloping me in it's sticky sweet tar
telling me again and again, "stay, stay, stay,
i am the way". . .

but your sidewalk is cracked
and i refused to stay walking down a crooked road
with you

saw off these handcuffs
that have attached me to my bicycle
it might have been fun to ride
for a short time
but it's bringing me too far away from where my soul wants to be

so set me free
and open my mind to some new dreams
unlock it from the box you've pent it up inside of
the box of your own restrictions, glue. . .
the glue that is you. . .

water pours down over me
like a tidal wave
i am saved

like no other moment, i am born again now
alone in a brand new world
i can rebirth any time i need to
any time i need to get away from you
... grab the scuba gear
and dive into a new ocean
or grab the towel
and dry off my sopping soul
or else be pruned by you

oh that i'll never do

about Life

Life IS beautiful...
we DO smile...
...and I CAN see it that way!

(whew!)

and one thing

i've learned i can only be myself
what a cliche
these images grow deeper into subconscious of my brain
and there they remain
contributing their parts to make up my life's refrain
counting, counting, the colors speak
slowly as i drift off to sleep
and i know that i won't go
but i must leave this treadmill
and tread where my will wills
because i can only dream to be like all those versions of me i dream to be
if i start now, will anyone see the difference?
slowly, naturally
i morph into myself
and one thing i've learned
is i can only be
myself

i found me!

is it all the same here
here there and everywhere
i don't know my name here
a language not my own

is it what i paid for
paid, used, and understood
everything i made before
flowing down a drain

and it spins
and it turns
around a hole as deep as an endless abyss
it burns
to know i'll never be missed

never be missed

looking up from the bottom
the whole world is ahead of me
i'm certain i've got 'em
now that i'm finally who i want to be
through the shattered glass
i can see my past

and i love it. . .yes i love it

take me now my word will guide you through the dark
this is how it all really began. . . you'll see
i can be this girl up against.. flowing with... a brave new world
i can be all i wanted to be
because i found Me.

Secondly August, September knows.

Secondly the weather feels like spring again
I've never been so excited about the pending fall
Who is keeping it from beginning, but the sun?
The sun refuses to quiet it's fiery shouts

But the wind will have it his way
Cooling off the cracked cement
Whispering into the shadowed alleys
Sending a chill down anyone's spine

And the September sky is brighter than any August ever was
Does this cause jealousy for the summer?
Perhaps she can let go easily
Yes, some seasons have it easier than others

Without any need for the hazey heat,
Summer surrenders and admits defeat

The city cools down by one degree
Birds singing again, from the stifling smog they are free

August ravaged the earth and brought psychic tornadoes
August stirred up the pot
Opened the can of worms
Let the cats out of the bags


August decided to take it upon herself
and create the biggest Change of all

And now September wakes up cooler and more collected
Calmer and more patient and wise

September speaks soothingly
sings sweetly, songs of serenity
blows a soft wind, cooling down the wound

when it starts to hurt
close your eyes
and blow out the air that suffocates you

September knows.

What I really want

is some peace, man... a way to get my hands untied.
is some justice. . .

All these roles we play
what good do they do anyway?
hiding behind our masks
i asked a question no one dared to ask

mask shattered on to the floor
what good is hiding anymore?
is lying such a thrill?
your spirit it will kill

and it's never the right time
to say what's really on your mind
if you were to wait
would the truth disintegrate?

you hope it would
you wish it could
but what good would that do?
a disintegrating truth?

you'd still carry the imprint
the memory in your heart
about a chance when you could've said something
beginning's the hardest part

but you could have, you would have
you've got it all wrong
you start to fall apart
if you wait too long

so what i said, i meant.
yes i told the truth
because what good would it do
Hiding from you?

They all lied
They all ran to hide
I let go of my pride
Let go of disguise

and I'm sorry it had to be me
But that was the way it had to be
and I love you and i'm sorry.

Garfunkel

I bruise you, you bruise me
We both bruise too easily, too easily to let it show
I love you and that's all I know .

All my plans have fallin' through,
All my plans depend on you, depend on you to help them grow,
I love you and that's all I know.

When the singer's gone let the song go on...

But the ending always comes at last,
Endings always come too fast,
They come too fast but they past too slow,
I love you and that's all I know .

When the singer's gone let the song go on,
It's a fine line between the darkness and the dawn.
They say in the darkest night there's a light beyond

But the ending always comes at last,
Endings always come too fast,
They come too fast
But they past too slow,
I love you, and that's all I know.
That's all I know, that's all I know.

After a Scene

after a scene it's clear to me
things fall apart: they're meant to be that way
we don't wait for the shell to break
we make it explode as we give and we take

i took away what mattered to you
it wasn't something that i wanted to do: i knew
it was wrong and i let it all go and i know
it's probably something i'll always pay for

in a way, i believe no day counts but today
all these minutes will pass but it's all just the same
my name is what it is and i will never change on the inside
i'll try to hide but truth always wins

it's a growing up, each factor affects us all differently
we don't understand why we're living so distantly
from ourselves, each other, the way we look in the mirror
don't see between the lines, when you just disappear

in the words in your mind repeating echoing reverb
swerve right off the road as the wheel takes a turn for the worst
or so you think in the heat of it all, you fall, only to bring love out once and for all

sooner or later you begin to see as the dust clears
who was there, when was then, and now whoever is here
in living color in the moment, and you state for the record
your mistakes were hidden lessons you should never regret

don't let the past remind you of what was and is not
legends grow we make believe and we get what we want
in the end, it is a silence and the memories fade
all we made will be forgotten and our promises break

because all things that live have to die eventually
so live on in your love, and your truth will set you free
pretending will only get you down so miserably
so relax and let go and admit your defeat

and get stronger
get stronger
after a scene

start to see
that you are you, and you are as real as can be

Start to Bloom

I can't afford to let it go, or lose track of the love I know
To go without, I'd live a lie... but can my spirit learn to fly
After all's been said and done, love or fear- which one has won?
My will to grow's been broken down, no longer see what I once found
But hiding deep in corners dark, a tiny seed emits a spark
of Hope, of Faith, and from above the greatest gift of all: Pure Love
The tiny seed is resting there, safe from cold and smoggy air
The tiny seed is nestled in, inside the earth, where it can begin
To Grow so slowly, to unfold, in with the new, out with the old
and forgive my friend and don't lose sight of Love the only thing that's right
It's far beyond my fear and doubt-- those things my soul can do without
and stretching towards the clearest sky, the seed is natural and doesn't hide
opening up and taking in sun, deep in the heart, understanding the One
this is the chance for the sweetest high, this is the moment for you and I
discovering Life and taking flight, looking towards the brightest light
blossoming into a beautiful girl, exploring all parts of this brave new world
eyes open wide with intentions true, nothing you can say, nothing you can do
except watch this flower start to bloom, no such thing as later or soon
only this and only now, only us always somehow
believing in what's beyond, what's true, the yellow, the green, and the blue
not afraid to sing this song, no difference between right and wrong
bubbles burst and skies explode and all the while this you know
love is patient, love is kind, love does not deal with the mind
only the heart can set you free, believe in love and you will see

letting go and growing up
Letting go and growing up
Letting go and growing
growing
going
up

Justin Timberlake, I think that I know.

Be the same as you already are
Every minute hear the music
And get your soul in tune
Underneath the treble
There's a bassline
Yes the beat
Falls short of perfect
And the hook begins again
Lights up your mind
Lights up your body
Spirit of the Night
Best Friday Night
Ever
The most beautiful love is music
Without it there is nothing
Even my brain is blank
Even my world is boring
Nothing without music
Then I wait and see
He watches me
Enviously
Like a dreamer
I dance
Never letting go
Extraordinarily, he is
Singing to me
Opening the airwaves
For the flood of the melodies
Discover harmonies
I digest the chords
Slipping into the carelessness
Guilt free, love ridden
Understood
In a space without words
Secret breaks
Entrapped in the scene
And never wanting to leave
Not to stop
Dancing
Trust the truth if you don't you lose
Rush of blood
Unraveling in the snap
The shake
Home on the dancefloor

A Whacked Tornado Poem

Hello there and Happy Day!
Are you gonna make sure you get your way?
Very very lucky I have to say
to Even get the chance to breathe today...

Make me make you make it through
Elevated light that pulls us to

And from, around, and up and down
Towards the One that keeps us sound

Hello, hello, how is it?
Eventually I stand, I sit
Loving life and keeping fit
in Life, in love, don't slow one bit
Onward!

Keeping faith and keeping real
Eventually you know what you feel
Emersed in shallow waters clear
Pretending you are not really here

Make me make you set me free
Enter in eternity

Be still and see
Extraordinary
You and me
Only we
Never doubt
Drink from the fountain

Go farther than you were before
Open every single door
Open the box and look for more
Decide today don't hesitate
Before you is your path of fate
Yes you choose to walk the line
Evolve and make your choices in time

The People I meet

The people I meet
Teach me about me

I am in the right place


I sample these personalities
Try them on like jeans

It helps me know
The Real Me

Not something I'd ever wish to conceal
The people I meet
Make me feel more real

I met these people
Who brought me to a huge room
Full of recording equipment
and psychedelic energy

I fell in love with my life then

Brooklyn

Bring me more instruments
Reach out towards the stars
Onlookers gawk in amazement
Open the doors of your mind
Kill the fear, but keep its skeleton near so you remember
Love Love Love Only
Yes this is Your Life
Never forget who you are

Brooklyn possessed me
and her breath pressed up against me
So much more than a loft
So much more than a studio
I felt myself
become
so much more real

Here I am Now

how i saved the world

There was complete anarchy when i arrived
there was a mad scientist lady on the loose
Trying to kill, trying to takeover, trying to conquer

And she was coming after me, I was her first chosen target

So instead of running, i hid among the crowd
and blended in
a gift i have
when i choose to use it

Anyway

I decided to poison her with some of her own poison serum
She didn't know it, but I poisoned all her specimens too
all the volunteers who came to be a part of HER science project
I poisoned them all just enough
to make them sleep

And then I saved the rest of the world
We all left, and had a barbeque

"Hooray, our High and Mighty Queen! You are the best! The most exalted one! Celebrate!"

The day I saved the world

what you NEED.

no dreams
a sleep i didn't know i had
don't know how to fix something
that you can find the broken part of

a dark, deep, blue
we were in gainseville
i had to leave
before dark

wanted to surprise someone
snuck around, tip toe-ing

make me appear
make me stand clear
make me strong and true
make me a beautiful part of you

then they welcomed me, drawing me nearer
the light was shining in through the window
the trees were moving, perhaps there was a storm coming
and i missed it all so much

the grass
the fresh air
the relaxation
the incessant summer heat

these familiar faces i trust
these outer experiences i live for
what would it all mean
if i didn't have the most important thing to me
by my side
in my heart
of my world
in my life

and all for this love,
i've pushed away and pulled back again
What goes around comes around

and i need it now

A Little's Enough Lyrics

When all is said and done
Will we still feel pain inside?
Will the scars go away with night?
Try to smile for the morning light
It's like the best dream to have
Where every thing is not so bad
Every tear is so alone
Like God himself is coming home to say

I, I can do anything
If you want me here
And I can fix any thing
If you let me near
Where are those secrets now
That you're too scared to tell
I'd whisper them all aloud
So you can hear yourself

Green trees were the first sign
The deepest blue, the clearest sky
The silence came with the brightest eyes
And turned water into wine
The children ran to see
The parents stood in disbelief
And those who knew braced for the ride
The earth itself then came alive to say

I, I can do anything
If you want me here
And I can fix anything
If you let me near
Where are those secrets now
That you're too scared to tell
I whisper them all aloud
So you can hear yourself

I'm sorry I have to say it but you look like you're sad
Your smile is gone; I've noticed it bad
The cure is if you let in just a little more love
I promise you this, a little's enough

Being in Your House

Your house was trippy
You had a lot of gadgets
Lots of Light
Your house had many different rooms
Your house was not haunted
Your house had a cool bathroom
Cool fixtures on the wall
Cool light fixtures
The architecture was psychedelic
The rooms were normal
But contained magical looking things
Your house was at night
One room had yellow walls
Your house was a funhouse
I think
Maybe a slightly mad house
Your house had no mirrors
Only fun stuff to play with
Your house had a strange alarm clock
In the bathroom window
Your house was special
Your house was you
Your house
Your house
Your house
I was there
Thanks for having me over
I hope I was a nice guest!

:)

My Name

every experience makes me stronger
i hold on to the past no longer

i open my eyes so i can see
what is right in front of me

"feel the pain and feel remorse
but don't let these feelings guide your course"

i awake to what is true
a beautiful strength in me and you

found the secret once again
remembering where i have been

seeing the light that's right ahead
listening to all i've said

voices clear and steering now
knowing what is real somehow

here i stay when times are rough
when my mind is not enough

here inside my heart of hearts
where i reach a point to start

focusing on life and love
getting guidance from above

letting go of fear and doubt
letting hope echo throughout

getting farther than before
on the path toward God's door

Ocean Winter Spring in Flight
it all adds up to Love (so right!)

I don't want to waste any more time
Figuring out what's yours and mine

One thing we will always share
Connot be found anywhere
else
than
where
we are
right now

Right now
Let the love shine in!

Let the love light shine!

Let the love begin!

Love's Divine!

Please forgive me now I see
That I've been blind
Give me love
Love is what I need to help me know my name

Course of Nature Lyrics

You're my distanced destination of choice
I'd give anything just to hear your voice
I couldn't pass you on the street
Without saying a word
Most times I missed the voice
That goes unheard


What if I missed you
You got caught in the sun
What if I did something
Never to be undone


People everywhere how could I be sure
Is it you that I have been looking for
What would it take for me to be comfortable
With you, with me you're the chosen one


What if I missed you
You got caught in the sun
What if I did something
Never to be undone


You are there for me this I hope and pray
You will wait for me, I wont be to late


What if I missed you
You got caught in the sun
What if I did something
Never to be enough


Will you wait for me
Or will I be to late this time
You are there for me this I hope and pray

Are you writing from the heart?

Today I contemplated
Getting what I want
It got me quite frustrated

A yellow alien knocked
on my air conditioner
I said I wasn't ready to be whisked away

So then I joined the UN
To become an ambassador
To save the world

Following the tracks
Until I'm led
Into where I belong
The woods

So fact of the matter is
I moved up here with a dream
The dream has grown
The dream has widened
It is encompassing several countries now
Its breadth and width is compelling
I want to be inside this dream forever

So I will!

This beautiful rain keeps me cool
The woods keep me safe
I'm happy in my tree
Where I need to be

Someday though
I'll bring some leaves around your town
And you'll recognize the scent as something exquisite
and sweet

Ahhhhh, life and love will be as it is in my fantasy
b e a u t i f u l
a n d
r i c h

eventually, what?

Finally found time to write at home
This electronic diary...
Am I losing my sensitivity to the feeling of the awkword stance one must find in order to write, write, write
for hours on end
on the pages of a tiny notebook
with a tiny ink pen?

My finger used to be coarse
a bump from the pressure of instrument
that carried the feelings from heart and mind
to paper

now I stare at the light
in the late of the night

there's a mirror next to me
and blankness is what I see

Maybe I've grown numb
To what I felt when I was young

Is 22 so old?
It's not: so i've been told

But my mind is tired, the things i knew
are starting to grow blurry

and i've been so in love with something
there's no need to hurry

so i type it into a laptop
my fingers know the keys
and when i turn it off
it goes
black
and saved
into the ether

There are no boundries on this way
There is no price for me to pay
There is nothing I cannot say

It flows so quickly right out of me
and you see

i am lost
in the letters and shapes
my mind turns to one thing
the thing i can't shake
the habit i can't break
the thing i can't take
the thing i can't fake
the think i can't make

it stays

there
and i am here
and we stay so far away from what we think we want
and go closer to what we know we don't

alone in my feelings
lost in my mind
on the cycle of love
never ending story
eventually, what?

eventually, what?

New Heights

My, how spring has sprung.
The summer heat reminds me of home, and in the sweat I am waking up again.

Feeling like I've been down for too many decembers, I open my eyes to the sun
And my chlorophyll is dancing and laughing with joy, and running deeper and deeper shades

I cry green tears of movement as my roots refresh themselves in the cool water of the earth

Brown and blue and green

I come alive.

Branches stretching towards the sky, taking in every molecule of oxygen
taking it all in... the light, the air, the good stuff.

I am recycled
I am damp and cool
I am a forest of memories
... anchored in the ground

I am making books and wrapping paper,
Wrapping it all up in love, love, love ...

crazy love!

Never before has the sky been this blue
Never before has the sun been this yellow
Never before have the clouds been so silver
shining
sparkling
reflecting the energy
reflecting the incredible bright
light

I am here, now, remembering nothing, predicting nothing,
Growing up to new heights
Full of what matters most
the most important

ness

eileen-ness
love-ness
space-ness

can you imagine anything more?!

. . . . . . . . . . ..

June

June was a time for much writing
June was a time for much cleansing
June was a time for much purging
and June was warm and pretty

In June, Lana walked out a door
and into a summer day
Where there were flowers on the floor
and butterfly games to play

The trees were bare but grass was green
The sky a silver blue
and Lana prayed and laughed and sang
sweet melodies to you

The clouds were gone the sun was bright
The ocean waved and smiled
And Lana knew the time was right
so here she's stayed a while

Colorful shadows appear on her hair
And stars surround her soul
And Lana's dresses are tye dyed dreams
and for once her heart is whole

The space has opened again for her
The path is clear and ready
And truth is what is guiding her
and keeping her foot steady

And Lana will pick you a daisy
and Lana will clean out your mind
And Lana is beautifulcrazy
And Lana is one of a kind

And Lana has laughter like sunshine
And Lana has love like a dove
And Lana is peacefully sublime
And Lana gets Light from Above

And you will read all the stories she shares
as you sign on your computer
and there's no word to rhyme with computer
so just remember this blog

As a picture of a fairytale
something you can dream to
make jewlry and wear bandanas
and listen to what you can dance to

sing in a language you make up yourself
see in your own vivid colors
yin yangs and rainbows and magical wands
open up and let it all in

Climb aboard the TruthTrain
running on Parallel Tracks
going faster and faster
never losing time

Lasting forever in this spiral Love
Circles and kaleidoscope moon beams
shining out the way for you to sense
bringing you past your defenses

into the Forest where Green is Ecstasy
and the chloroPHILLS YOU UP
with LOVE and Magical Passion
music starts the journey!

begin.

What else is there?

How could something so beautiful be so wrong?
Is it really that beautiful? Or, is it really that wrong?

How could something so amazing be so not right?
Is it really right? Or, is it really that amazing?

How do you know when something is right?
Should you have to fight?

How do you know when something is wrong?
Does it take a long
time?

To figure out why. To be or not to be. To be loved, to be free.
To not ever see what's in front of your eyes.

You've got shades on, blinders on, and you only see what the devices allow you to see, in the colors they are providing for you.
Are you missing other colors?

Or is it all as it is?
Is this all there is?
What else is there?

Trapped in a cage of clouds
And you like it
Trapped in the cage in the sky
And you want it
Don't want to climb out, you're suspended so high
Trapped and you don't care why.

How can something so smooth be so not real?
Is this really how you feel?

How can you change something so steady?
Is it really steady?

How can change be so cold?
Is it really changing?

Water
What is water?
Air
What is breathing?
Fire
What is heat?
Earth
Where am I?

Tripping on words
Tripping on blankets
Tripping on stones
Tripping on pictures

And you wait and you sing
and you dance and you bring
the colors you want
in front of your face
The design you make
It's not real or fake
It's a beach, and you reach for the remote to change
But the play button has been glued down, and there is no rewind

There is no such thing as time
There is only this space
Enough for us

To change, to grow, to live, to know
To hope, to feel, to spin and reel
To mix, to make, to thaw, to bake
To give, to throw, to forgive, to blow

If this is everything and nothing at the same time
The feeling we're supposed to feel, what's yours and mine
if this is the alpha and the omega here now
How?
How, how how.

and out there waiting for you to close your eyes and open your mind
is time, which doesn't exist.

It all just is and it is all here now. How? No matter. Save me and you'll see that you should have saved yourself. Then you'll recount all the moments you had choices to make. What air to breathe, what sky to see, what clothes to wear, what love to share, and it all broke when you stepped on that last stone and left it behind you. That last stone was holding it all together and when it broke, you spoke the words that disintegrated the fiber that was leftover as a skeleton of love, and the fiber then was gone and you wished it took longer than it did.




What else is there.

Hungry, hungry .. .

Lana and her friends were camp counselors at a beautiful Christian Camp in the Hernando County area. The sky was grey and it was windy, like before a storm. The air smelled of rain. The grass was exceptionally green that day, and there was some sort of party going on at a country sea home- the kind of home with a large wrap-around porch that overlooks the ocean. There was a girl named Whitney there eating a cupcake with pink icing. It was Lana's cupcake, and she was wearing Lana's dress. Her hair was very curly and blonde. She laughed and smiled because the cupcake made her happy. Lana sat in her cabin classroom, and her teacher was a nun. She was teaching the class how to be exceptional camp counselors in a Christian setting. She was actually the head of the camp. She taught a lesson and then explained the homework. She simply said: "Make me a beat." She drew headphones on the board, and then she drew drums, and then an ear. She said, "Headphones + Drums + Ears= A Beat." Lana left the class thinking about how cool her beat would be. That's when she saw Corbin. Corbin's job at the camp was a Minister to the kids. Lana got so upset, because she knew Corbin was not a real minister, and was just trying to make friends and money and gain popularity among the girls.

There is no ending to this story. This is just how it is, and how it went.

I wondered . . .

Could I be asleep?
Could I be a sheep?
Could it be that counting sheep makes you fall asleep?
Could I fall in two?
Could I fall into?
Could a fall a magic fall make me fall into two?
Could I be the sun?
Could I be the one?
It could be I couldn't see the one was just the Sun.
Could I make amend?
Could I make a friend?
Could I make a snake that made a friend into some men?
Could I drink a sea?
Could I think of B?
Could it be I think to drink the mountain maid of thee?
Could my rhyme be whack?
Could I give a smack?
Could it be that whacks and smacks do make for tasty snacks?
Could Africa be free?
Of sickness and disease?
Could it be that I should be on elephants in threes?
Could I cry a tear?
Should I wait a year?
Could a year be full of tears and then my makeup smears?
Could I wash my face?
Could I waste my grace?
Should I make a snakey face while giving fakey haste?
Sould I pair my pants?
Should I share my rants?
Could I rant and shake my pants while panting all my rants?
Could I shed some fear?
Could I feed some deer?
Should I feed some beer to deer and make fear disappear?

Written in: 4 minutes 22 seconds

Eye of the Storm

Well it reached a point
a moment to stretch out
Beyond our joints and hinges
Into the ether of the unknown

and so the rule is: Dance!
Hair down, arms and legs free
flailing and singing:
Life is better in bare feet!

And then laugh until you cry
Live until you die
Don't bother asking Why
Coffee, Mermaids, and Trumpets. . Oh My!

This is the dance that makes life better
This is the dance we'll dance forever
This is the dance that sets us free
This is the dance for you and me

Now it's time to take a chance
and ask you. . .may I have this dance?

And dance long after the music stops
And dance long after the popcorn pops
And dance long after the sun does set
And dance long after the people forget

Because in our souls we remember forever
and life leaves imprints in our hearts
and as we go on we discover
we're never together we're never apart

once you blink,
your mind takes a photo
flowers of color and
psychedelic mojo

everything lasts
future and pasts
life flies fast
you know

trees grow high
trees grow green
brown trunk strong
you go

up with the heat
mountain of love
dance in the street
you know

sunshine rains
joys and pains
babies and rainbows
you go

amazon river
grand canyon
sahara, safari
you grow

up with experience
dont stop believing
living, reliving
you know

don't ever let RIGHT NOW pass you by
Coffe, Mermaids, and Trumpets.. .Oh My!

Once upon a time there was a girl from L.A. who decided she'd just like to play all day. She said "Heck with work!" And she bought a guitar because "Music is really what will take me far." So she went to the beach and sat down by the shore and while people passed she played and played more.

The Beginning!

Check Yourself!

how do you know so much?
she asked the mystery man.
"i know because i know" he said,
"i am because i am". . .

Please believe me when i say
Life a new begins today
Every instant you can choose
And every second you gain and lose
Sing only true songs of light
Energetic faith and flight

Respect the mothership above
Entertain your thoughts of love
Fly so free on wings of hope
Recognize real love-- don't mope
Around on energies low and slow
In realms of darkness you must glow
Never stay too long. ..

For life is but a dream
Respond to what you've seen
Only with an open compassion
May you see that true love is in fashion

Hold on to hope
Open your mind
Let go of fear
Definitely be kind
Invite light into you heart
Now is when you should start
Grow into the joy that you find

Give away all your attachments
Really take care of your core
Understand all your reactions
Discover yourself even more
Goes great with silver and turquoise
Every day listen for that small still voice
See the little things and never be bored!

SHOWTIME!!!!!

This is a special time of year
The middle of the year
a time when fear
is pushed to the rear
of importance
and my dear
you hear
the goodness

Have fun
Talk to you later
Bye

Such common overused phrases
you see it's just a phase it's
Not something serious
A passing of time
A changing period
A transition
That's all

let's go on with the show. . .

BANG BANG

He shot me down...

So, today I went on my lunch break and got my hair cut. Was this a good decision? Well, it depends on the meaning of the word "good". It was good for me to do something drastic and different. It was good for me to lose a level of comfort in order to experience the unknown level of existence outside of my regular zone. It was good to try something that I was a little scared to do, much like why people go sky diving or deep sea scuba diving: for a thrill, a break from the norm.

Now I look like I'm in sixth grade again.

Is THAT good?

I don't think so. My only thoughts are: I want my hair back.
But doesn't everyone go through this? At one point or another, we all chop off our hair and all wish it would grow back over night. Other people dye their hair and wish it would fade overnight. I have made a lot of silly hair decisions, but this one just seems so . . .

major!

C'est la vie, they say.

Now I will go have dinner with my mother and hear her either tell me how beautiful I am, or how young I look, or how "it will grow back!"

But it's hair. The hair on your head is dead. The cells at the follicle (where the hair meets the scalp) are alive, but they are multiplying and dying at a rapid rate and the dead cells, because of their structure, morph or "grow" into the form of what we call hair.

Soooo hair is really just dead skin cells! The skin cells bond together as they die so that the hair has the rope-like qualities that allow you to brush through it and pull on it. It keeps growing. . . even though it's dead. Strange.

What will our souls grow into when we die?

LanaParallel

Look into your cristal ball
and tell me what you see
Not another hazy picture, or
another mystery
Please tell me something's there now
and you understand it's air
Redirect your focus into it
and treat it with loving care
Loving care
Love and care
even as you close your eyes to me
Love and care

Lana was walking down the sidewalk yesterday when she saw a flower. That's right, a flower. All by itself, growing out of a crack in the sidewalk. She took a deep breath and knelt down to view the flower more closely. It's soft-- and I mean SOFT-- white petals, and the delicate yellow center, a tiny perfectly green stem with an equally dainty leaf sticking out of that little crack in the sidewalk. Such a treaded sidewalk, such a busy pathway, and yet here was this fagile and radient flower shining in its elegance for the acutely aware passerby to notice. Many had traveled down the side walk, past the flower, and had not spotted it's lonely beauty. But Lana noticed. Lana walks parallel to the rest of the world, on her own path. Lana notices the little details in life, she notices the colors, the textures, the flavors, the sounds... and she documents the experiences that move her most. She documents them in music and then shares them with the people of the world! Because that is what she wants to do. Stay tuned to hear . . . :)

LanaParallel and her cristal ball.

What else does Lana want. . .

What now?

When everything's supposed to be fine,
Everything's totally fine.
The music continually plays
and the girl continually prays.

There's no such thing as tomorrow

When I was afraid, I didn't want to go.
I didn't want to talk about it, didn't you know?
When I was afraid, I didn't know what to do.
I didn't want to think about it, didn't you see?

But NOW.

Now... the winds of change are blowing on through.

I remember a road trip, a time in a car
Driving up through 13 states to reach the very top
...from the very bottom.

And people tried to give advice, but I was flying on the wind
And people tried to make me think twice, but I was eager to begin
And I came, and I stayed, and here I am today
And a part of me is leaving and it's leaving the rest of me wondering

What now?

it is green

it's been too long since i saw the water
or played or stayed in nature at all
and it's been too long since i tended to my roots
i've been letting my spirit fall
and i'm hungry for more
and i'm repelled and want less
and i'm sure that i don't want this

and my music is playing loudly
and my guitar is waiting for me
and my piano is getting dusty

where have i been? oh, where have i been?

it's been too long since i cleared out the weeds from around me
and my petals are losing color
but i'm green, green as can be. . . enough chlorophyll to last me
well into the next season
until i can find another reason
to blossom again

and i'm so hungry for something more
and so full of what i want less of

and i'm so ready to chop it all down
if it falls alone will anybody hear it?

it will be recorded, and you can buy the album
the last tree in the world
falling falling falling

the chords will paint a picture
and the melody will describe the setting
the lyrics won't even matter then
because you'll understand, you'll just understand

you'll listen to it in your ipod
as you walk or ride a train, or a plane
and you'll re-live the change
and feel how it all happened
over time

this became that
is became was
we became over
green became red

you become more
and more
who you are

we become more
and more
who we want to be

more of who we are

remember always:

IT IS GREEN

thinks nature

EVEN IN THE DARK

...even in the dark

i am.

and in waking up, i see.
i believe in beginnings.
with each moment new
i am satisfied being me, and you being you.

this tree stands alone
and though not frozen
still growing
my hands up in the air, but my heart is still knowing

to be not afraid
to live my days
alive in the sound of sweet suicide of emotion
they end their own time in a hurried mess

and left behind
is a trace, a trail
explaining in fragments
how the overwhelming began

in the beginning.
i am the pages in this book, not the words
my essence is the soft paper
providing the space for the story to unfold.

In order for a new tree to grow, it's seeds must be planted in a blank space of rich soil, with no other weeds or plants growing there. The space must be cleared and the soil must be upturned and made ready and fertile for a plant to grow. Then you take these tiny seeds and you plant them there. .. Anything that needs to grow, needs it's space to do so. So I feel this is what true and meaningful relationships are all about. The way to succeed and grow in a healthy relationship is to plant seeds of virtues like kindness, faith, strength, hope, in a space that is cleared and ready and made fertile for a real relationship to grow. In my life, I've had a relationship where the soil may have been cleared, but the tree that was trying to grow was stifled by weeds and other little creatures also starting to grow there. The weeds were not cleared properly and therefore the tree was under constant attack. Well, this caused the tree to hollow out and become a weak shell-- appearing strong and beautiful on the outside, but those with a keen eye knew better, and the tree just fell down. Now, I'm here beginning to take the first steps of clearing out the wreckage and preparing the soil again. I'm not moving away to a new space-- that's something I've learned does no real good. Running away is not the answer to all of life's mistakes. I've learned that my space, my soil right here, right now, is the perfect place for planting; always has and always will be. I don't need to look for fresher soil, because I have everything it takes right here in my life, to grow a beautiful strong tree.

Why do we worry and why do we cry?
Why do things happen the way they do-- why?
What is the purpose for hard times and strife
to Love and be loved is the purpose in life!
But no, times are harder, we break and we learn
We feel the suns warmth and we feel the sun burn
we fall and we drown and we gasp for clean air
and everything we trust in can be taken away.. There's
no reason to dwell in the consuming pain
but to rise above and stand true to our name
and be strong in the face of the challenge of living
keep on moving up, letting go, and forgiving
forgive life of it's hardships and take them as blessings
forgive yourself of mistakes and any shortcomings
you are always exactly where you're meant to be
the universe is unfolding all naturally
and a cycle is turning and the seasons will change
you embrace new thoughts, and old ones become strange
nothing can stop you as long as your here
remember to love and your heart will stay clear
no burden can keep you for you know how to stand
God is your rock keep that love and transcend

Mission Statement Poem

Tis time, my friend, to rearrange
sublime deep thoughts that once seemed strange
let them fall forward into light
see there's no use in still trying to fight

and all the secrets you don't know
will open up and start to flow
and understanding takes it's place
and silently you will awake

your mind can't be turned off for long
your heart can't stifle it's true love song
But spread it out and give it away
Don't hold on to yesterday

The past is gone and quiet now
Your future is in it's place; somehow
Ignore the rest and Just Be Here
let your mind relax and be clear

Gather your love and set it free
Don't get tied down to you, to me
Dance and sing like your spirit wants to
The world is waiting for your cue

Smile because you have this life
Ebrace the bliss, embrace the strife
Find your center, find your truth
Trust in God; maintain your youth

innocent from head to toe
now your faith can really grow
satisfied with simplicty
learn to love and learn to breathe

breathe in the sun, let out the pain
let it drain away like rain
believe, my friend, and don't lose sight
of Love; the only thing that's Right.

Re-read your intentions
Examine what you truly feel
See what it is you truly need to do
Perfect your mind
Exert energy towards your wholeness
Count the reasons why you're blessed
Tell a friend!

Rid yourself of trouble
Experience a lightness
Splurge on treasures that bring you delight
Purge the darkness away from you, into the night
Exact the number of transgressions and set them free
Circular breathing bears transcendance
Turn on your healing music vibe and dance to the beat

Remember what's truly important to you
Exterminate the negative
Speak only of happy thoughts
Pretend not-- JUST BE.
Envision a future of flight
Connect to your true self
Trust your instincts

Suppose...

I suppose some things work out some ways
and other things work out other ways
and who decides who goes, who stays
not i, said me, not i

I suppose the sun can warm up doubt
and ease pain both within, without
and sometimes cause a dreadful drought
for me, said i, for me

but no other path
no other choice
no other song can feature my voice
quite like here
quite like now
the thoughts flow out so easy somehow
and it's not right
to continuously fight
still someone is under my skin tonight
so i'll go home
and go to sleep
and all of these secrets i'll keep

it's not easy
and love is not always breezy
some times it's freezing
not the least bit appeasing

and it goes on... and on. . .and on . . .

Accidents

Freedom is at last where I want to be, and
I am here
Now
Don't you see

Making the most of the moment
Even when time flies by

Accidents
Never
Occur
Thoughts
Harbour
Ethereal
Rain

Review your thoughts
Open your field of awareness
And see, and
Dream

Lying on the Roof

Lying on the roof... counting the stars that fill the sky
My wonder is.. if someone in the heavens' looking back down on me
I'll never know

What if God shuffled by? One day, we might see
We're doing not a thing
Like breathing, just to breathe.
You and I might find some kind of reason.

But it's running around seems what's wrong with the world
Don't lose the dreams inside your head
They'll only be there till you're dead

So dream!

Sitting still as stone, watching
People passing by me now
No one ever stops to talk or thinks about it
If they ever did...

So much space to believe, funny, when you're small
How the moon follows the car
There's nothing but you see
Hey! The moon is chasing me!

And there's not a moment to lose in this game
Don't let the worries in your head
Steal too much time-- you'll soon be dead

So play!

Pain

Please excuse the mess
All this I've caused
Incidentally, perhaps on purpose
Nonetheless, it will be finished soon

Do you wonder what the difference is?
On my way to seek the truth
Enlightenment snuck out the back door
Soon she'll return

Now I'm waiting for a sign
Other than that, I'm calm
Tangible feelings make themselves heard

Sway me one way or the other
That's not the purpose
Ask me if I'm on fire
Yes, I'll say, Yes, I'm on fire

The Beautiful Era

Change, change, change comes a-sweepin in
Old things end, new things begin
A beautiful era we're entering now
Discovering goals, and reaching them somehow

I refresh my outlook, diversify my stock
Take a deep breath, and take a long walk
Scenergy growing, I'm reaching new heights
A beautiful era where I don't have to fight

I want to move up, and beyond what I "know"
I want to be busy, want my cash flow to grow
I want to be singing, and doing what I do best
I want to put all my talents and abilities to the test

I open my mind and look up from down here
Let go of attachments to bad habits and fear
A beautiful era, I'll transfer into
Life as a butterfly, each flower is new

I've picked up new jewelry, a few new pairs of pants
I've started to eat healthy, and've started to dance
Preparing my spirit and body to move
In the direction of success, getting back in the groove

Treat projects like school assignments, one step at a time
There's a time now for everything, and this time is mine
There are no ties to bind me, no strings to my soul
A beautiful era, I'm perfectly whole

To stay in this mind frame and watch my life blossom



This is what I want.

Lana Parallel Coming Soon

Let's face it. We all have something we want in life. Some of us want more than others. Some of us may not know what we want. But getting what we want out of life is essential. Why else would be here? To just go through the motions? I don't think so. Coming soon to this blog, I will be figuring out what it is I want and how I plan to get it, and I will also share the outcome. Hopefully this experiment will ultimately be a model or guide to others who are in pursuit of something they've been wanting out of life. First things first: What is it that I want right now?